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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Top Ten Reasons...

NOTE: This was written by the ladies I work with. It was given to me at my work shower, but I am just now getting a copy to post. These are definitely all related to my work and to the people I work with so alot of them will not make ANY sense what so ever....but they gave me a good laugh!

Top Ten Reasons Heather Will Need Time to Adjust

10. Heather needs to know that she can talk to Hadlea at any time and does not need to scheduled time via a calendar appointment.
9. We need to train Heather to make sure she does not expect a 3 business day notice before changing diapers. An emergency after the fact change is not necessary either. All diaper changes will be handled under the Advisory rule. (Pending DAG approval – Dad and Grandparents)
8. We’ll need to make Heather a checklist of what to look for in a babysitter. Debbie E will be the example of what NOT to look for.
7. We will need to re-program Heather so she does not reject anything her little girl does, and we will need to find all forms of Heather’s non-conformance letters to make sure she doesn’t send one to Hadlea.
6. Following new guidelines, Heather will have to purchase her own text messaging machine for Hadlea. It will not be supplied by the company.
5. We may have to confiscate Heather’s phone that takes pictures. In the parent business, pictures should be taken only while the baby is growing or doing something really cute. DO NOT repeat pictures like some people in our group, i.e., Cats ring a bell...
4. We will need to be brave for Heather; any emails from her requesting to come back to work in lieu of a member of the team switching places until Hadlea is ready to go to school, will NOT be accepted. It is called tough love.
3. We will truly miss Heather while she is out, however she must promise to have lunch with Debbie E. when she comes into work, or at least take her shopping.
2. No one will be allowed to talk shop/work to Heather during the growing years which is from day 1 to Hadlea graduating college.
And the Number One reason why Heather will need time to adjust is...
1. She may be tempted to describe in great detail her Birthing Experience and after Debbie Evans last medical update: Tom just couldn't take It!

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